Posted 5 hours ago

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
Posted 15 hours ago

unclefather:

how to kiss a boy

  1. grab his waist
  2. slip your hand in his pocket
  3. steal his wallet
  4. dont even kiss him
  5. just run
Posted 15 hours ago

taxicar:

im like pre stress stressed like im stressed about the stress that i will b stressed about 4 school……………..education is magical 

Posted 16 hours ago
Fuck, my tea.
me approximately an hour after every time I make tea (via madopiano)
Posted 17 hours ago
Posted 17 hours ago
I think there comes a time when you meet someone and you just want to make them smile for the rest of your life.
Unknown (via psych-facts)
Posted 17 hours ago
Posted 17 hours ago
Posted 17 hours ago
Posted 17 hours ago
Posted 17 hours ago
Posted 1 day ago
Hey sexy, nice tits. Whoa, why are you so upset? It’s a compliment. I’m only being nice to you, you stupid bitch.
Male proverb (via parahdocks)

(Source: clype)

Posted 1 day ago

Today is also my last day of eating really bad food. This is going to be a bit difficult considering I work in a diner but I have faith.

Posted 1 day ago

eartheld:

helicine:

how do i get this picture of myself tumblr famous

i want this tattooed on my back

Posted 1 day ago

Can’t believe I start class tomorrow…. I need like one more day to do stuff like clean.